Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
