idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
