we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
