Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
