haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
