my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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