You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We need to rekindle our bromance
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
