dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
