it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
