508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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