i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
