my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
