you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
