I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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