If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
