At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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