yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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