i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
