i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
