are you still at the devil's house?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
