My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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