had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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