Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We have started to decorate penises.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
