wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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