omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
