YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
