My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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