it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
