C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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