I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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