My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
