Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
