I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
