party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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