Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
