you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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