i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
