i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
