How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
