Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
