he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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