Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
