so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize