Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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