I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
