You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
