dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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