You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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