I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
