You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
