remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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