i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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