Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
