She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
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