Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right

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(516): i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right http://tfl.nu/qyre

Replies (1) Good night (2104) Bad night (750)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

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(781): She said she didn't have time to shave "there" (617): Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster. http://tfl.nu/ama3

Replies (58) Good night (970) Bad night (4773)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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(201): my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that" http://tfl.nu/nqkj

Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (4951)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar

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(508): Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar http://tfl.nu/vekl

Replies (13) Good night (4162) Bad night (1148)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(513): I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means? http://tfl.nu/ni5g

Replies (12) Good night (4185) Bad night (1085)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself

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(902): She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself http://tfl.nu/gzky

Replies (8) Good night (930) Bad night (3156)
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(619): View more from California

You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.

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(619): You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer. http://tfl.nu/hqfv

Replies (2) Good night (2197) Bad night (981)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.

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(417): I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/1dwn

Replies (11) Good night (1044) Bad night (2049)
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(002): View more from

There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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(002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq

Replies (8) Good night (1867) Bad night (531)
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(925): View more from California

michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.

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(925): michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him. http://tfl.nu/5r7o

Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (547)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.

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(715): i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/dafx

Replies (0) Good night (1057) Bad night (419)
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(618): View more from Illinois

If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

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(618): If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life http://tfl.nu/dpod

Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (866)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.

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(978): I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping. http://tfl.nu/amws

Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (297)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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(314): He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left. (1-314): So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home? http://tfl.nu/r5sj

Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (373)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.

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(423): He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed. http://tfl.nu/exh7

Replies (1) Good night (255) Bad night (233)

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