Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
