Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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