i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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