We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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