Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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