So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Congratulations! We have a period
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
