which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
