after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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