Everything about him screamed your future.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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